mistressofmuses: A man is seated, facing a broken fence. The image is dark, with bright points of candlelight in the background. (horror)

Review of Episode 3.

Sorry I got so behind again.

I may temporarily go to a M/W/F schedule for posting. I'm watching both Bates Motel and Hannibal, and if I want to review both while keeping a twice-weekly update, then I'm a) never going to catch up to current episodes, and b) won't be able to review anything else while both seasons are in progress. After one of the shows ends its season, I'll probably go back to a Tuesday/Friday posting schedule.

This is still assuming I can keep to ANY kind of schedule. So... HA.
mistressofmuses: A man is seated, facing a broken fence. The image is dark, with bright points of candlelight in the background. (horror)

I liked this episode a little more than the first one.

I was aiming for (and started doing) a Monday/Thursday schedule for posting, but I think Tuesday/Friday may be more doable for me. We go out on Sunday and Wednesday nights, and generally I'm not up early enough the following mornings to get a post posted.

mistressofmuses: A man is seated, facing a broken fence. The image is dark, with bright points of candlelight in the background. (horror)

So A&E has a new show called "Bates Motel," which is a contemporary prequel to Psycho. It's... okay so far.

I meant to post yesterday, but forgot. :P

mistressofmuses: Closeup photograph of a light pink rose. (Default)
I remember what I was going to post about yesterday!

This time, let's just guess what the commercial was selling, okay? I admit that these are not presented in the chronological order from within the infomercial, but if it's in quotation marks it's as close as I can remember to what they really said about it at some point. (I was writing these down as we went.) GUESS THE CONTEXT!

First, you'll want to note that this product is "quick and easy and hot!" and comes with "multiple attachments"! It also has a "swiveling head." The (male) host/demonstrator also proudly shows off that "If you notice, I've got a red tip right here!" Also of interest may be the optional attachments, including the "slimline wand" and the "comfort cradle."
One of the key benefits is that it "requires less rubbing!" and works on "both light and dark wood," and in fact, it works on "most hard surfaces." It can achieve "deep penetration" but is also suitable for very "delicate surfaces." In addition to requiring less rubbing, it also requires "just one touch" to "get going."
Obviously, you'll want to clean up anything that may have "dribbled down the side." But you'll see, as the host points out, "there's the mess, right on the rag!"
A satisfied female customer points out that she loves it, because it's "so easy to maneuver! I don't have to struggle with it!"
And of course, "if you think that's good, just wait until you see it in the shower!"


Also, I slept until 2:30 today. I are an adult.
mistressofmuses: White icon with black text reading "Buggre Alle This For A Larke." (buggre)
The NutriBullet will make it so you're ready to go again in seconds! And this is after it's pulverized your nuts and done something with vibrations! Also, they keep mentioning how it cures low sex drive! (It's a blender that they desperately want you to believe is not a blender.) It'll cure every disease known to man by liquefying your food! Because people can't digest solid food! And the fact that they're telling people to replace meals with kale smoothies has nothing to do with the fact they claim they've had health benefits: nope, it's all because the food has been pulverized. Because cell walls.

You can buy a DVD called Ballistic Backsides! (Which I assume is trying to cash in on the "what the fuck, I thought I was buying porn!" demographic. But instead, it's a workout DVD!) It's by someone famous that I've never heard of, but would have to pay $1500 to work out with in person! She turns overweight moms into fitness models! Somehow working down to next to 0% body fat still allows you to have D-cup boobs! So that whole fitness model thing is definitely because of the workout, not anything to do with the plastic surgery! And also nothing to do with the hair extensions, professional makeup, and photoshopped pictures! But some guy said he sweats like a pig when he does the workouts, so I should be very excited! I love pig sweat! Also, a girl is very happy that her boyfriend loves her again now that she's a model!

There's some tooth-whitening product with an active ingredient that sounds suspiciously like Cowpox! (It was Calprex, but seriously.) And this will make you pretty enough to deserve attention from other people, I guess!

Also, you should buy a special oven thing, because your only other option was to cook chicken and such in the microwave, and microwaved poultry sucks! But cooking in a regular oven is SO HARD!

The wee hours of the morning were very informative, okay?


mistressofmuses: Closeup photograph of a light pink rose. (Default)

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