Weird bouts of... nostalgia?

[mistressofmuses]

Not really nostalgia, but a kind of strange preoccupation with past stuff?

I've actually been noticing it less the last week or two, but for maybe a month or six weeks before that, I caught myself bringing up past things a *lot* more than I usually do.

Things like... anecdotes from my previous job at the bakery. Which was a good five+ years ago, now. That was probably the most noticeable to me, that a lot of just incidental conversations with coworkers or with Alex would remind me of things from there.
Coworkers I had: "hey, this song reminds me of that coworker who knew absolutely nothing about pop culture or modern music, except that she played in a marimba band and so she knew ONE Depeche Mode song, because she'd played a marimba cover of it."
Customers I remember: "god, remember that one time I sliced my hand open while cutting a bread sample for a customer, and then when I calmly explained to her that I had to go wash the blood off my hand, she got annoyed at me!"

Also a handful of things about college, which is, yikes, more than a decade in the rearview. (College I DO have a strong sense of nostalgia for, I'll admit, despite some pretty fucking awful low points.) Even people I've done my best through fairly successful therapy to NOT think much about... things would remind me of things we'd done, or conversations we'd had. (In that case, fortunately not traumatic shit, just... stuff.)

I don't know if it's been stress, or what. Though honestly, my stress is fairly minimal compared to those periods of my life, so... I'm not sure what triggered it.

Like I said, it seems to have sort of receded, and I'm not noticing it the way I was. Just weird.

Comments

[olivermoss]

Sometimes writing triggers it for me, especially writing Stranger Things for some reason.

[spikedluv]

This might not apply to you, but my s-i-l sees a therapist who told her that the fact that she's going back to older shows to watch (ones she watched as a youngster) means she's trying to find comfort (after her dad had that Covid stroke). I don't know if the nostalgia factor works, since some of the things you're remembering aren't all that great (like the customer being mad you had to wash blood off your hand, omg!), but maybe there's something there????

[mistressofmuses]

I certainly do have my comfort reads/watches/listens etc that I consciously go back to when I'm having a hard time. And I've definitely caught myself thinking back on past "phases" of my life more often when encountering overwhelming current stresses. It definitely feels similar! I just can't figure out what the "trigger" is, when usually I can!

[mistressofmuses]

Hmmm... the fic I'm rewriting IS one I wrote during that previous job. I remember having to compile all the torn up order-form scratch paper pieces that had notes on them, haha. I wonder if that is part of it?
Stranger Things makes sense, I guess because the show itself is so nostalgic for its time period, and is also so firmly set within that time period. It makes sense that you'd kind of get into that "past" mentality.

[olivermoss]

Yeah, and I keep trying to think about pre-modern-internet life, whether a turn of phrase came later, etc.

Yeah, minds are weird. Could be your brain associating the story with the circs under which it was written.

Random Access Mind - when the brain goes "Hey, look what I found!"

[disgruntledgirl]

It happens and I've no idea what triggers it.

[mistressofmuses]

Yeah, that kind of stuff that sort of goes into exploring the "everyday life" aspects of an earlier time (whether that's a century ago historical, a couple decades ago, or even just a few years) strikes the not-quite-nostalgia-but-kinda chord pretty hard for me.

Brains are weird. The cross-tagging and filing system between thoughts and memories is bizarre sometimes, lol.