(no subject)

[mistressofmuses]

Boy it sure is something to hear about what seems like garden-variety fandom BNF flounce-drama, passing distantly... and then to actually find out that ah, this shit is way wilder than I thought.

How many BNFs turn out to be abusive wannabe cult leaders who are also convinced of something that makes them better and more spiritually and uniquely special than everyone else out there in the world?
Like... I'm sure the real answer would shock me, but I feel like any number greater than 0 is a problem.

Fucking yikes.

-

We are about to head out to our friend's album release show. Fingers crossed it all goes well. Alex seems... like he doesn't really want to go, but I'm hoping he has a good time once we do. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, but I'm also still pretty anxious about it. Haven't tried to get together with people like this since before Covid.

Comments

Re: apparently AO3 slander really grinds my gears

[chemicalcain]

Yesyesyesyes. The "perfect queer" thing is a huge problem. It's metastasized into the idea that queer people can't write stories that involve any kind of trauma - that writing someone who experiences abuse makes the author inherently abusive. Or, sometimes, that writing trauma poorly makes the author an abuser, even though writing is fucking hard. It suuuuuucks.

I think cancel culture at large grew out of a good motive, originally. There are people who abuse others to gain more power, so when people point out abuse, we can help the people who were targeted. But trying to pre-empt abuse by labeling traits or interests that "predict" abusive behavior is gonna net a lot of people who are really just doing their goddamn best out here. It can be a fine line to tread, but man, a lot of people saw the line and decided to walk perpendicular.

Re: apparently AO3 slander really grinds my gears

[mistressofmuses]

Exactly! That writing about any sort of trauma is somehow equivalent to enacting that type of trauma (either on the readers, or on the characters who are being treated as more important than the actual human author.) And sure, I've seen clumsy handling of trauma or of other "sensitive" subjects, but... oh well. If something is written poorly, or in a way you don't like... we're back to "hit da bricks!!" Find something you enjoy more!

I think you're right - deplatforming hateful, awful people can be one of the best things to stop what they're doing, as is calling out their harmful behaviors and helping to show patterns of abuse that certain people have engaged in. (And sometimes it's needed because the perpetrators DO have a good public face.)
Unfortunately, it sees like it's just kind of turned into its own form of clout-chasing. Of being the most performatively angry, because *that* is its own form of social currency. And if that means attacking a fellow queer creator, or some poor kid on twitter, or some artist you don't like, welp... gotta get that engagement!
There is this utterly mistaken belief (which some people seem to genuinely believe, and others just try to feed into) that you can somehow "tell" a bad person from a good one based on their thoughts/traits/interests/art/etc. That's nonsense - none of those are actually *behaviors* that are going to harm another person. It also lets *actually* harmful people slide under the radar, because they know the right things to say or interests to talk about to make themselves seem "safe".

It's back to a really frustrating new incarnation of purity culture and misguided ideas of what actually makes people safe or not. An obsession with weeding out the "sinners" of a community, and performatively attacking them to distance yourself from the "bad" is disturbingly religious-culty, even if the people involved rarely think of it that way.

Re: apparently AO3 slander really grinds my gears

[chemicalcain]

Yes to all this. Once again I am glad to have more or less abandoned Twitter. The policy of Twitter staff is almost explicitly "reward what gets clicks," and the stuff that gets clicks is performative outrage. It's not exclusive to Twitter, obviously, but it's very apparent to me that the site is actively designed to bury nuance and polarize opinions.

It also lets actually harmful people slide under the radar, because they know the right things to say or interests to talk about to make themselves seem "safe".

^^^ This, this, this. People can and do take advantage of this kind of moralizing in order to find easier targets. Calling it "weeding out sinners" feels spot-on, because you see this exact same shit in lots of church congregations. (Specifically thinking about evangelical Christians here, because that's where my experience comes from)