mistressofmuses (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mistressofmuses) wrote2023-09-20 09:28 pm
mistressofmuses) wrote2023-09-20 09:28 pm
Work annoyance + Taylor's birthday + writing plan
Work hasn't been getting any better, though at least since today is my "Monday", I'm not burned out over it this week. Yet.
Though I did have to stay half an hour after I was supposed to leave to answer fucking voicemails. Because I never got an answer about "what do I do at the end of the day if there are still unanswered calls?" But the answer when it comes to the online support calls is "if the call came in before your clock-out time, you have to stay until they're answered." So I assume it's the same for these. But we got about 10 calls (12?) after 5:00, and I'm supposed to leave at 6:00, but still had a bunch of other stuff I had to do.
And there's some new garbage corporate motivational system nonsense (Entrepreneurial Opportunities System or something) that both my lead and manager really don't like so far. It seems to basically be "here's a time consuming system to absolve upper management of any responsibility, and instead force YOU fix the problems we create, despite giving you zero authority or autonomy, but have you considered trying harder and delegating everything? Fixing these things is YOUR "opportunity", so if you can't find a solution, you must not want to fix it."
-
Yesterday was Taylor's birthday! We had a pretty quiet day hanging out. :) They took the week off, but didn't want to have to do a whole lot. So we hung out, never changed out of pajamas, read short stories, and played Final Fantasy XIV. It was fun!
We've been reading Seanan McGuire's patreon stories about the undersea, and we're just one away from being done with those so far. (I think there's a new Alice and Thomas story or two since the last time we caught up on those, and there's all the Tybalt ones to focus on next.)
In Final Fantasy XIV we got through choosing which company to join (we went with the Marauders) and got through the quest investigating/helping the sylphs. We're part way through the third (of six) sections in "A Realm Reborn", which is the initial game post-complete-reboot. We're New Game+ing it with Taylor's main.
I'm given to understand that while this bit is competent and fun if fairly standard JRPG/MMORPG fare, some of the expansions are just Really Fucking Good.
Mom made traditional birthday dinner of meatballs, mashed potatoes, and dilled carrots, with Taylor's requested pumpkin pie for dessert. All delicious, of course!
-
I briefly had a lot of inspiration for very much not the right writing project the other night while I was at my mom's and Taylor's. It was just a flurry of ideas for a plot bunny that's been pretty thoroughly shelved for quite a while. Better than zero ideas for anything, but not very helpful either!
The work stress and such really did utterly dead-end me on the AUgust fics that I was hoping to finish this month. I'd now have to write more than one per day to finish by the end of the month, and as disappointed in myself as I am for not finishing, I know I can't do that.
Soooo... time to just try to recenter and start again. If I write one every two days, I could be done with them by October 11th. If I spend three days per fic, it'd take me to October 22nd. I feel like setting some sort of timeline goal is better than leaving it utterly open-ended, because leaving things completely open-ended often equals getting very little done because something else is always a little more appealing. On the other hand, I've blown past three "deadlines" already (when I wanted to get half of these written in July, then when I wanted to still finish by the end of August, and now when I'd hoped to be completely done in September), and it's starting to feel discouraging.
I don't know how likely it is that I'll be feeling just as burned out as I was for the last couple weeks again. Right now I feel okay-ish, but it's perfectly possible that after more than one day into my workweek I'll be back to wanting to flip tables. Soooo... all good intentions might mean very little if I just can't do anything.
Still, any progress is better than no progress, and I'm not yet willing to just give it up, even if part of me wishes I would.
Though I did have to stay half an hour after I was supposed to leave to answer fucking voicemails. Because I never got an answer about "what do I do at the end of the day if there are still unanswered calls?" But the answer when it comes to the online support calls is "if the call came in before your clock-out time, you have to stay until they're answered." So I assume it's the same for these. But we got about 10 calls (12?) after 5:00, and I'm supposed to leave at 6:00, but still had a bunch of other stuff I had to do.
And there's some new garbage corporate motivational system nonsense (Entrepreneurial Opportunities System or something) that both my lead and manager really don't like so far. It seems to basically be "here's a time consuming system to absolve upper management of any responsibility, and instead force YOU fix the problems we create, despite giving you zero authority or autonomy, but have you considered trying harder and delegating everything? Fixing these things is YOUR "opportunity", so if you can't find a solution, you must not want to fix it."
-
Yesterday was Taylor's birthday! We had a pretty quiet day hanging out. :) They took the week off, but didn't want to have to do a whole lot. So we hung out, never changed out of pajamas, read short stories, and played Final Fantasy XIV. It was fun!
We've been reading Seanan McGuire's patreon stories about the undersea, and we're just one away from being done with those so far. (I think there's a new Alice and Thomas story or two since the last time we caught up on those, and there's all the Tybalt ones to focus on next.)
In Final Fantasy XIV we got through choosing which company to join (we went with the Marauders) and got through the quest investigating/helping the sylphs. We're part way through the third (of six) sections in "A Realm Reborn", which is the initial game post-complete-reboot. We're New Game+ing it with Taylor's main.
I'm given to understand that while this bit is competent and fun if fairly standard JRPG/MMORPG fare, some of the expansions are just Really Fucking Good.
Mom made traditional birthday dinner of meatballs, mashed potatoes, and dilled carrots, with Taylor's requested pumpkin pie for dessert. All delicious, of course!
-
I briefly had a lot of inspiration for very much not the right writing project the other night while I was at my mom's and Taylor's. It was just a flurry of ideas for a plot bunny that's been pretty thoroughly shelved for quite a while. Better than zero ideas for anything, but not very helpful either!
The work stress and such really did utterly dead-end me on the AUgust fics that I was hoping to finish this month. I'd now have to write more than one per day to finish by the end of the month, and as disappointed in myself as I am for not finishing, I know I can't do that.
Soooo... time to just try to recenter and start again. If I write one every two days, I could be done with them by October 11th. If I spend three days per fic, it'd take me to October 22nd. I feel like setting some sort of timeline goal is better than leaving it utterly open-ended, because leaving things completely open-ended often equals getting very little done because something else is always a little more appealing. On the other hand, I've blown past three "deadlines" already (when I wanted to get half of these written in July, then when I wanted to still finish by the end of August, and now when I'd hoped to be completely done in September), and it's starting to feel discouraging.
I don't know how likely it is that I'll be feeling just as burned out as I was for the last couple weeks again. Right now I feel okay-ish, but it's perfectly possible that after more than one day into my workweek I'll be back to wanting to flip tables. Soooo... all good intentions might mean very little if I just can't do anything.
Still, any progress is better than no progress, and I'm not yet willing to just give it up, even if part of me wishes I would.
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Ugh, it's hard to figure out! I'm almost always better off with deadlines, as long as they're realistic, but lately I've struggled even with deadlines that seemed reasonable at the time I set them. I don't want to keep feeling like I fail at the goals I set, but I know I'll get lazy and drag my feet forever without SOMETHING to push me a bit.
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I'm glad you and Taylor had a nice birthday. *g*
Ugh, brains, why do you work that way? I'm familiar with the plot bunny taking over your brain until you write it down. Good luck with your writing project!
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It was a nice time spent with them!
Right? I want to be able to channel my motivation and inspiration toward the project of my choice, not some rando idea I'd decided to shelve!
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Finishing the the project would feel good, if you don't burn yourself out!
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Yes, it will feel good to be done, no matter how long it actually takes! Though yeah, I think I've pushed a little *too* hard a few times and struggled to overcome the resulting burnout, and I don't want to do that again. It's just always so hard to tell the difference between when pushing a bit is necessary to get over a hurdle, and when pushing is going to just grind you down, ha.
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Yeah, it is hard to tell sometimes. Sometimes it down to whether the story cooperates or not. It's always hard for me to tell if it's one is going to.
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Very true. It's nice when a story DOES want to cooperate, but the ones that are uphill both ways in the snow are a struggle. (And figuring out how to fix the uncooperative ones is yet another difficulty, sometimes. Like, is this not working because I need to fundamentally change the structure of it? Or is it fine, but just Like That?)
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Sometimes stories happen, and sometimes it's like... I lost the flow... I've gotten better at finding a way write down what I want to do with the story in an abstract way. I've also got a Scriviner file that's just reminders for myself about things. But still some days words just wont.
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For a little while I was pretty good at giving myself good outlines, and keeping little "scraps" type documents for when I had ideas for dialogue/scenes/settings/vibes that weren't quite anchored within the story yet. I'll try to get back to that when I'm actually working on some longer projects again. It feels like too much effort for these little oneshot things, but damn if some of them just don't want to cooperate.
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Even for one-shots have my Scriv structure really clarifies things about what I am trying to do, but... it's still silly for shorter works.
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Yeah, when I'm trying to make as many of these little things 1000ish words, it feels silly to do more than just a quick and dirty second draft/rewrite to try and improve some phrasing/fix SPAG/etc. But at the same time... I know that actually using a more thorough process would likely make them go more smoothly and create a better finished work!
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