![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mistressofmuses) wrote2025-01-12 09:52 pm
Snowflake Challenge #5
For ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
snowflake_challenge: "Talk about what has improved in your life thanks to fandom."
Fandom has definitely been a net positive for me, though not in ways that are terribly unique, I imagine.
Because of fandom, I've made several lasting online friendships. Once upon a time, this was on Livejournal, then sometimes on tumblr, now here (and sometimes following across platforms) with people I'd never have met otherwise. For the most part anymore we don't share specific fandoms, but there's a certain understanding of sorts that comes with just being fannish, and has led to many of those friendships spanning years and years!
Arguably, despite Alex not being fannish himself, I wouldn't have met him without fandom, either. I only discovered Livejournal because people I found through fandom (authors I liked on ffdotnet, owners of fandom-specific personal sites, etc.) had Livejournals. Once it was clear that All The Cool Kids Had LJs, I started one as a personal journal (full of embarrassing teenage whining and angst), but it was absolutely fandom that first introduced me to LJ. (Then I continued my journal as I went away to college, and I eventually joined an advice community, read a post of Alex's in that comm, friended him, and then we became actual friends.)
Outside of the social sphere, fandom has given me the opportunity to have a creative outlet. Aside from all the teenage badfic (and early twenties mediocrefic) that languishes on that old ffdotnet account, I returned to writing fic in 2019/2020, and have really enjoyed that for the last several years. Fanfiction has given me a way to share some of the things I write, and actually have other people read it! Maybe not a ton of readers, but it's cool that there are any. Some people have enjoyed things I made!
no subject
So technically, yes, you and I met and became friends because of fandom but not through fandom itself. LOL We both commented on MyPaopu's (I think that was her name on there) LJ and then started talking to each other and followed each other on LJ from there. :)
no subject
I know we've had interests in common, but it's true that those interests haven't ever been the primary things that we were fannish over.
I know she's mypaopu on tumblr, but I think she was still Uzumakisama on LJ. :) But yes! That is where we first encountered each other, so I definitely consider that you're a friend I have due to fandom... even if we didn't meet "in" fandom, per se.
no subject
What I always appreciated about you is that you like video games, but you aren't OBSESSED with them. I could talk to you about so many things whereas so many people (Kas, other people we gamed with, etc) all they wanted to talk about was the latest video games they were playing, and their attitude was, "Well, if you don't want to feel left out of conversations in your own home even, you should play the video games we're talking about." LOL And yes, my Transmet icons. I still have all of those! I have all the icons I used to save and make. I had one of them on here for a while, but I wanted different ones up that suited me more here and now, so I think I've taken Spider down for now.
no subject
Yeah, pulling the "well, if you feel left out, you should just start liking the thing so you can participate!" thing sucks! I used to get that a lot from a circle of friends in college... part of why I really never cared for Supernatural and absolutely loathe Sherlock.
I'm all for trying to get a friend into the thing you're into, and word of mouth recommendations can be the best! But ideally that comes from actually wanting them to experience a thing you think they'll enjoy, not just prioritizing the thing and trying to force them into it.
If you're into a thing that a friend isn't, that's also fine, obviously - but it's crappy to turn ALL of your time with them into still talking about that thing they don't care for. Sure, it may sometimes come up, and it's equally unfair to say "you aren't allowed to ever speak of a thing that isn't *my* interest," but everyone has gotta be mindful of letting time spent together cater to everyone present, not just one current interest. (I know some of it comes down to social cues and things, and some people are better at reading the room than others, but that's the sort of social etiquette that everyone should be capable of at least trying to follow.)
no subject
It's cool when friends get into the things you're into, but sometimes that's just not going to happen. Sometimes people don't mesh with those fandoms, and that's fine! No one has to be entirely into the same stuff as their friends. I've never been one of those "you're not allowed to ever speak about the thing that isn't my interest," but I have been known to walk away to do something else if a group of people ONLY talked about that interest. That happened one time before a gaming session where everyone was arguing politics, and I just got up and went into our room and closed the door. Jeff got mad because I wasn't out there being social, and I said, "I'm not going to listen to that shit after I've asked people to refrain from political arguments on gaming nights."
no subject
Hype aversion is super real, especially when it's something that becomes completely unavoidable. I don't *love* winding up disliking something due to overexposure, but sometimes that just happens!
And yeah, leaving a conversation that's about something you don't care for or didn't want to talk about is a perfectly reasonable enforcement of your own boundary. Sometimes "hey, I get that this is the only time xyz group is together, and you all really want to talk about your new video game/politics/the new MCU something/local sports team #3/etc., but since that's not a thing I have any interest in, I'm gonna go do my own thing that I do enjoy." is the best thing you can do.
(Though if xyz group has plenty of OTHER time together where they could discuss the topic of choice, then I would say it's rude of them to still focus on that thing that you aren't into.)
And especially when it's a rule or a request that you've put forward - like "don't turn our game sessions into a political debate" - then it's definitely them being the rude assholes, and letting them know it is also perfectly reasonable.
no subject
And that was just it with the gaming group. They often left our place after gaming was over for the night and went to hang out somewhere else where they could talk about all the things they wanted to - or they all went home and got onto their games (WoW) together and played. So it was really just like...they were pretty obsessed with it and didn't care that we weren't interested in it. One friend told Jeff and me that he was just going to come over and put WoW on "our" computer, and when I told him that it was MY computer, he tried to insist that it was half Jeff's because we were married, and I said, "Nope, sorry. My money paid for it, it's mine. If Jeff wants to play WoW, he can get his own computer."
no subject
That oversaturation is a weird double-edged sword. I have seen so much constant MCU stuff that I have absolute negative interest in any of it anymore. (Though I'm perfectly able to scroll past it when I don't want to see it, and it bothers me not at all that I'm friends with you and multiple other people who love it! And I've got the same feeling toward Star Wars and some other big properties, too.) But when that IS your main fandom, it's great to have such a steady stream of stuff!
It'd be interesting to know what makes that sort of oversaturation a positive vs. a negative about different things at different times. I can tell for me that it's not just a measure of whether I already liked the thing, because I've sometimes grown more interested in an unfamiliar canon after seeing a bunch of different people get into it and share content for it. Other times, seeing a constant stream of stuff makes me far less interested.
Yeah, see that does make it a jerk move on their part. I try to be understanding when it's a whole group that only sees each other infrequently, so I get that they may be excited to talk about a thing that the other members of the group are into, even if I personally am not. (Though still, social cues, and realize that maybe that shouldn't be the ONLY thing talked about.) But when it's NOT the only time this exact group sees each other and they have plenty of opportunity to talk about that other thing together when it wouldn't be leaving you out... yeah, rude.
no subject
Indeed, cool kids have blogs! The coolest have fandom blogs!
no subject
I do enjoy the smaller community here, and like getting to actually know people.
I liked Blogger, but I didn't ever succeed in keeping up with anything on the attempts I made, haha.
But agreed: the cool kids STILL have blogs. Especially fandom blogs!