mistressofmuses (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mistressofmuses) wrote2021-04-29 08:37 pm
mistressofmuses) wrote2021-04-29 08:37 pm
Kind of a frustrating day.
Today was a mixed bag. It ended better than it started at least.
I woke up to the dog leaping off the bed to go puke, and didn't get back to sleep after cleaning that up.
As soon as Alex got up he found out that his financial assistance had been cancelled because he failed to return a required form... by May 15, 2021. Which you may note is a date that has not arrived yet. This wasn't a "return this or it WILL be cut off" it was a "you did not do this by this date so it has been cancelled."
We were going to drive up to a bookstore before Alex's ride, so I could buy a couple books (Hummingbird Salamander and Fugitive Telemetry, hopefully. I'm trying to use a little less Amazon, especially for books, if I can get them elsewhere). But while I was getting dressed, Alex knocked something over in the kitchen, and that prompted quite a bit of angry cleanup, and throwing things around. We had to go to the bank to get cash to pay his trainer, and the whole drive was full of vaguely snappish one-word answers, because he was still upset by the shitty morning he was having. (None of the snappishness was directed at me, but it still upsets me, and it's hard not to get snippy back.)
By that time it was too late to go to the bookstore, so we just headed to the barn. And for some reason, I cried about it in the car. That was embarrassing, and I kind of hope Alex didn't notice. Maybe it's 'cause I'm on the tail end of my period, or just the buildup of the burned-out feeling, combined with my mediocre morning, and the feeling that it's so frequently the things that I want to do are the ones that get skipped. Also a helping of like... affection starvation, because the thought of someone just like... giving me a hug would make me tear up all over again.
The day improved after that. We stopped and got coffee, and made it to the barn. I ate a snack, read some self-indulgent fic, and took a walk in the sun with the dog.
Maybe having a stupid cry and getting some sun was what I needed, haha.
I took a nap when we got back, too.
-
In completely good news: my grandmother got out of the hospital today! They had to do a procedure to ease some constriction in her esophagus, an issue that was separate from the things that sent her to the hospital, but at least she can now eat normal foods again. She'll be getting some home health care and PT, plus dialysis 3x per week. I'm so glad she's out of the hospital!
I woke up to the dog leaping off the bed to go puke, and didn't get back to sleep after cleaning that up.
As soon as Alex got up he found out that his financial assistance had been cancelled because he failed to return a required form... by May 15, 2021. Which you may note is a date that has not arrived yet. This wasn't a "return this or it WILL be cut off" it was a "you did not do this by this date so it has been cancelled."
We were going to drive up to a bookstore before Alex's ride, so I could buy a couple books (Hummingbird Salamander and Fugitive Telemetry, hopefully. I'm trying to use a little less Amazon, especially for books, if I can get them elsewhere). But while I was getting dressed, Alex knocked something over in the kitchen, and that prompted quite a bit of angry cleanup, and throwing things around. We had to go to the bank to get cash to pay his trainer, and the whole drive was full of vaguely snappish one-word answers, because he was still upset by the shitty morning he was having. (None of the snappishness was directed at me, but it still upsets me, and it's hard not to get snippy back.)
By that time it was too late to go to the bookstore, so we just headed to the barn. And for some reason, I cried about it in the car. That was embarrassing, and I kind of hope Alex didn't notice. Maybe it's 'cause I'm on the tail end of my period, or just the buildup of the burned-out feeling, combined with my mediocre morning, and the feeling that it's so frequently the things that I want to do are the ones that get skipped. Also a helping of like... affection starvation, because the thought of someone just like... giving me a hug would make me tear up all over again.
The day improved after that. We stopped and got coffee, and made it to the barn. I ate a snack, read some self-indulgent fic, and took a walk in the sun with the dog.
Maybe having a stupid cry and getting some sun was what I needed, haha.
I took a nap when we got back, too.
-
In completely good news: my grandmother got out of the hospital today! They had to do a procedure to ease some constriction in her esophagus, an issue that was separate from the things that sent her to the hospital, but at least she can now eat normal foods again. She'll be getting some home health care and PT, plus dialysis 3x per week. I'm so glad she's out of the hospital!
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Boo for Alex losing his financial assistance. Will he be able to fix that considering that the date they were accusing him of missing hasn't actually happened yet? I mean. Not exactly his fault there.
And that sucks that you didn't get to go to the bookstore. Can you go either tonight or tomorrow? It's not super fair that you lose out on something you wanted to do entirely while Alex still gets to do his thing. *hugshugs*
I'm glad to hear that the cry and the walk in sunshine helped. I would imagine you're having a lot of burn out right now, and you really need a break from everything.
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He should be able to get it fixed, and contacted his usual team that helps with this (the mental health clinic he uses has some people who help with things like assistance) so that hopefully they can help get it fixed. Because... yeah, so sorry we didn't time travel to get these to you?
We were able to go today, and I'm actually really glad we waited, so there was no time pressure. But yeah, it IS frustrating to feel like my stuff is always second priority. And that isn't totally fair; we do a lot of stuff that I need or want to do as well, but when something has to get skipped, or a purchase put off, etc., it feels like it's frequently my stuff on the chopping block.
The cry felt stupid, but maybe it was necessary, ha. The sun was lovely. I DO feel like I need a longer break - to the point I'm excited that in a couple days I get my second Covid shot. Even if I feel like death, I'll at least won't be at work for a couple days.