mistressofmuses | (no subject)

Today has very much been a braindead day, and it's frustrating me.

I have just no attention span whatsoever, and feel like I've got the worst damn brain fog.

It *may* be my period, because that's a particularly unpleasant thing right now, but the brain fog and mental struggle doesn't seem super consistent as a symptom of that.

Maybe it's more accurate to say I have all the *wrong* motivation right now. I want to read, and work on something creative, and go for a hike... but not sit at a desk and answer phones and do paperwork, sobcry. The whole day was me fighting my own brain, and I hate it.

I only have to struggle through one more day, and then I get my weird weekend(s). I've got two days off, two days on, two days off. Makes a nice change - usually when I've started a new schedule, I wind up having to work a longer week, rather than getting a short one.

This weekend I *have* to get the next chapter of Steffi's book edited! I started on it last week, but it's now been over two weeks since she sent it to me, and that's crappy. I don't mean to delay her.

I've also got to get the mermay fic finished. And as a silly reward thing for myself, I want to make a moodboard/cover thing for both it and for All Strange Wonders. I'm not great at it, lacking any editing software beyond google photos and a free canva account, but I find it fun, lol.

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Aw. Yeah, days like that suck. It doesn't help when your brain knows what you really want to do but you just can't at the moment. ^^;; Hope you got through it okay.

That's an interesting work arrangement; it sounds like you could get more recharge/me time that way. It's a bit hard to imagine how that works out in practice though.

Good luck with the editing and the fics :D I'd like to see the moodboard if you ever make it; I've only made one of those, and I remember it was fun (if time-consuming) to assemble.

I don't think that's "wrong" motivation at all. Wanting to be immersed in creative work that you feel passionate about instead of boring busywork is not wrong. Maybe it's not always practical, but it's most definitely not wrong. I spend much of my life where all I want to do is lose myself in writing, in photography (which I haven't been able to do much of because pandemic last year and the wildflower season this year was so short and almost non-existent because of the crazy snow in February), in creative things that have nothing at all to do with practical.

Thank you. I made it through, and same with today. I deal with executive function issues a lot, but it's still frustrating when I have bad days.

Oh, the work arrangement won't be a lasting thing (though I wish it could be, haha). My typical schedule has been Thurs/Fri off, and it's changing to Mon/Tues off. So just for this next week I have the two days off, work Sat/Sun, and then have my "new" two days off. After that it'll be the usual two days off, five days at work.

Thank you! I'll share the moodboard if I do wind up making it. (And maybe the old ones - I never shared links to those fics here.) It is fun to make them, I think, even though it takes a while.

Good point!

The whole soul-crushing real job thing is crap. Necessary, and blah blah horrors of capitalism, but crap.

I wish I could turn my attention to the creative stuff whenever I want to, because it's a struggle to find the energy for it after my workday. ;-;

(Thank you for the validation.)

Same, executive function issues are tricky when you're doing a desk job. If I'm lucky I can get up maybe once an hour so I can sort of reset my brain a little and maybe get some focus back. Of course, it doesn't help much when I really want to be doing something else. -_-()

Ahaha my bad, I was wondering why the schedule seemed strange. XD I guess the timing is good since you're busy with other non-work stuff. Hope you can get some rest, though, since it's a weekend (kinda). :)

Is there a way you could keep a notebook with you to write story ideas down or something? It might be a way to do it while you're working.

And you're welcome! Always happy to be everyone's chaotic creative naughty influence!

About two years ago, someone else advised me to buy myself a nice notebook and carry it with me all the time so that I could make use of little fragments of time to write. I took them up on it, and it's been wonderfully helpful! I make sure to always have it in my purse so that I can try to write things down at work, or when I'm waiting in the car for Alex to finish a lesson, etc.

Unfortunately, my boss sits right behind me at work (and there's a camera), so I have to be careful about sneaking time to write. It at least *looks* busy and on-task, haha, but it's definitely something I have to be sneaky about. (Though on Saturday/Sunday I'm the only one there, and while the weekends are busy, we're about to at least switch to weekday classes, now that kids are out of school. So I may be able to start using it more on those days!)

I appreciate it! I have to remind myself (and appreciate reminders from others!) that creative pursuits aren't a waste of time. I value them in other people... but fall into a lot of personal mental traps about productivity.

For real. I should try to make an effort to get up more often, for the brain break and because being sedentary for a solid 8.5 hours is terrible for me, haha.

Lol, I would love a schedule that worked out to be closer to 50/50 time working and time off! I think most of my days off are spoken for, but I'm hoping to get some rest and at least a little bit of time I can spend writing!