Faint, muffled screaming...

[mistressofmuses]

I slept like garbage again last night. I really wish my sleep schedule could get it together for more than a few days at a time, ugh.

But me, suddenly wide awake at 2am, still thinking about getting the LotR extended edition trilogy, which is in-stock less than two miles away from me for $70. But then I remember that the Blu-Ray (the version available) had a widely-loathed blue-green tint over the whole thing. And then I remember that the 4k version also had a lot of issues (like a lot of mega-high-def stuff) with OVERsharpening things to the point that they lost a lot of the style that people remember from the movies originally. (To be fair, those are second-hand opinions based on comparative screenshots - I've only ever seen the movies in-theater or on DVD.) Other people seemed to love the 4k version, because the softer look that the films originally had didn't appeal to them. Fair enough, but I want the version I remember, lol.

And ugh, each of the extended edition DVD sets is like $60-70 new, and that I CAN'T justify. But oh look, the same seller has all three in used-but-very-good-condition for a bit over $15 each, and even have a non-generic description of them that makes it sound like these versions ARE in fact the ones they're selling. Cool. Won't be here until next week, but rad. Thanks internet shopping, being there for me at fuck-o'clock in the morning.

And then I watched another episode of OG Leverage.

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I spent the whole morning dragging because I was so tired, and now I'm in full too-much-also-not-enough-to-do mode. I've got some frustratingly directionless creative energy that I'd really like to direct toward something (at least my words for the day! please!), but just... can't... start...

I've got the "can't do that, because first I should put my laundry away. But really I should edit Steffi's book chapter. But that means getting my work laptop out, since I can't even load gmail on this one anymore. Also editing takes HOURS, because it's unpaid but I want to do a good job. So I don't know that I want to commit to spending hours on that right now, because I want to work on something of mine, and I'll be too tired to do that afterwards. But I can't start on my thing, because I know I SHOULD work on hers, so..."

This is one of those probable-ADHD things that I HATE, because it seems like it should be a non-issue, and even seeing that it SHOULD be easy for me to just... do my thing if that's what I want to do, or just work on her thing for half an hour at a time, or whatever, I can't make myself do it!

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I could also fall asleep and take a nap, but I have a feeling it's an escape-nap and not a tired-nap, and those are never satisfying.

Comments

[olivermoss]

Ugh, sleeping poorly can become a horrible cycle of tired.

[mistressofmuses]

I hate it! I know it's not true insomnia, because I rarely have more than two days or so in a row where I get so little sleep, but it's still disruptive and awful.

[spikedluv]

I hate when I can't get to sleep, or get back to sleep.

That's a good way to spend that don't-want-to-be-awake time, though!

[mistressofmuses]

Same here. It seems to happen a lot to me, that I wake up in the middle of the night, and once I'm awake, it'll be hours before I can get back to sleep. I try to be good about at least getting up to do something - watch a show or read - because it doesn't make much of a difference in how long it'll take me to get back to sleep, and I may as well enjoy the time, haha.

[sleeplesspotato]

Yeah, that cycle of "I need to do this thing, but there's also that other thing, and I've been putting this one off for a while, but there's this other new thing that came up..." is really paralyzing. Sometimes it feels like tossing a coin or rolling a die would help, but then I start overthinking why I chose one thing over all the others, and then before I know it it's been a couple hours and I still haven't done anything.

Just now I remembered that graph where you put "important" and "not important" on one axis and "urgent" and "not urgent" on another, then you group your tasks into one of the four resulting regions and prioritize based on that. It sounds handy, though I'm likely to forget that it exists the next time I need something like it. ^^;;

[mistressofmuses]

It IS paralyzing! I hate it! It's so hard to overcome it, too. And I wind up doing the same thing, where *hours* pass and I don't do anything, because I'm so worried about not doing everything, heh.

I don't think I've seen that graph before, but I can picture what that looks like. I can see that being useful when you have things that fall to an extreme - important AND urgent has got to get some attention, and unimportant, not urgent things can wait. But then I'd be paralyzed between "this is semi-urgent and fairly important, and this other thing is less important but much more urgent... now what!?" lol.