mistressofmuses | (no subject)

I am alive!

I just haven't felt like I have much to say.

Work hasn't left me in tears, but it is just a constant demoralizing drag. (I know, "so it's like... work?") Practicing just not giving a shit, which probably is really the best thing to do.

Writing still hasn't been happening. I just don't have any drive or interest in working on anything. It's frustrating, but I'm not making it past the "stare at the document and feel worse about it the longer I do that" stage. I do at least still get brief bouts of *wanting* to work on something, which is better than nothing! It just hasn't translated to being able to do anything about it.

I've let myself doomscroll a little more than I usually do, and I need to cut back on that again. I want to figure out bluesky as a site (as tumblr goes through another biannual "is this when the site finally dies?" round), and I also want to be at least somewhat informed about all the ways the US is deeply fucked... but in combination, it's not been great for mental health stuff. And then I feel bad that it makes me feel as shitty as it does, because I know so many people who are being impacted in vastly worse ways.

Is it the seemingly inescapable creep of fascism? Is it my job getting more and more demoralizing and frustrating? Is it the untreated depression? WHO KNOWS.

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*hugs* I'm sorry that work and writing and life are just . . . like that . . . right now.

*hugs* Me too. Life just feels like a little too much, and I don't know how to get it to feel less like that!

Work hasn't left me in tears, but it is just a constant demoralizing drag. (I know, "so it's like... work?")

Nope, work shouldn't be inherently demoralizing imo. We spend all day at it. I'm sorry it's so sucky.

I also want to be at least somewhat informed about all the ways the US is deeply fucked

You could use

wtfjht_feed it's a daily summary. Much more manageable than constant input.

And then I feel bad that it makes me feel as shitty as it does, because I know so many people who are being impacted in vastly worse ways.

Suffering is not a competition, all suffering sucks *hugs*

Thank you. (And I appreciate that... it feels like most of the time I gripe about work I get a response along the lines of "welcome to being an adult and having a job," as if I haven't been working for just short of twenty years...) But it DOES suck to be miserable at the thing that you spend the most time on. It's also sucky with this one because it didn't always feel like this.

I had bookmarked WTF Just Happened Today toward the beginning of the year, and then sort of forgot about it. I hadn't considered adding the feed to DW! Thank you for the reminder... that might be the way to keep track while preserving a bit more sanity.

*hugs* Thank you. I know there are people in far worse situations, but... Exactly. All suffering sucks.

I have to try really hard not to doomscroll. I have enough anxiety just existing, but if I read too much, it gets out of control so that even the Delta 9 doesn't work to make it go away. You have to protect your mental and emotional health as much - if not more - than knowing every little thing that's happening in the fucked up world.

Yeah... I tend to have a fairly frustrating level of anxiety in the day-to-day (and no real way to do anything about it), but scrolling through too much awful news just makes it spike out of control. It sucks. I don't want to ignore the shit that's happening, but just the constant stream of "we're fucked! Everything is fucked! Everything is worse forever!" just... doesn't help either.

Ugh, that sucks.

Maybe take a break from writing and consume lots of of media to get juices flowing?

Yeah, I still haven't fixed my media diet since the death of the bird site. I rely on the Philip DiFranco show as a general heads up about things more than I should.

Yeah... I think that maybe just removing the pressure to write for a bit might be the better thing. At least for a while. I keep trying to dial the pressure back, but I think dialing it to zero for a bit might be the right move.

I'm glad that I never really did rely on the bird site, because it means I don't miss it... but I want to find the sort of thing that it *used* to be able to provide. Bluesky has a lot a lot of news, and a lot of the people I recognized and followed are talking about it, but it winds up being an infinite scroll of everyone posting and talking about all the same worst things, and it just grinds my brain down. It's hard to find a good balance between "firehose of misery" and "comforting but uninformed bubble."

*hugs offered*

I’m sorry things are rough on so many fronts. It’s beyond hard to balance staying informed with not falling into The Doomscroll, especially when the news is hitting your mental health hard.

*hugs* Thank you.

The doomscroll is a horrible temptation, even when it's awful the whole time. There's just... way too much bad shit going down, and it's hard to find the balance where you're informed but not overwhelmed.