mistressofmuses (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mistressofmuses) wrote2025-04-14 10:33 pm
mistressofmuses) wrote2025-04-14 10:33 pm
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(no subject)
I am alive!
I just haven't felt like I have much to say.
Work hasn't left me in tears, but it is just a constant demoralizing drag. (I know, "so it's like... work?") Practicing just not giving a shit, which probably is really the best thing to do.
Writing still hasn't been happening. I just don't have any drive or interest in working on anything. It's frustrating, but I'm not making it past the "stare at the document and feel worse about it the longer I do that" stage. I do at least still get brief bouts of *wanting* to work on something, which is better than nothing! It just hasn't translated to being able to do anything about it.
I've let myself doomscroll a little more than I usually do, and I need to cut back on that again. I want to figure out bluesky as a site (as tumblr goes through another biannual "is this when the site finally dies?" round), and I also want to be at least somewhat informed about all the ways the US is deeply fucked... but in combination, it's not been great for mental health stuff. And then I feel bad that it makes me feel as shitty as it does, because I know so many people who are being impacted in vastly worse ways.
Is it the seemingly inescapable creep of fascism? Is it my job getting more and more demoralizing and frustrating? Is it the untreated depression? WHO KNOWS.
I just haven't felt like I have much to say.
Work hasn't left me in tears, but it is just a constant demoralizing drag. (I know, "so it's like... work?") Practicing just not giving a shit, which probably is really the best thing to do.
Writing still hasn't been happening. I just don't have any drive or interest in working on anything. It's frustrating, but I'm not making it past the "stare at the document and feel worse about it the longer I do that" stage. I do at least still get brief bouts of *wanting* to work on something, which is better than nothing! It just hasn't translated to being able to do anything about it.
I've let myself doomscroll a little more than I usually do, and I need to cut back on that again. I want to figure out bluesky as a site (as tumblr goes through another biannual "is this when the site finally dies?" round), and I also want to be at least somewhat informed about all the ways the US is deeply fucked... but in combination, it's not been great for mental health stuff. And then I feel bad that it makes me feel as shitty as it does, because I know so many people who are being impacted in vastly worse ways.
Is it the seemingly inescapable creep of fascism? Is it my job getting more and more demoralizing and frustrating? Is it the untreated depression? WHO KNOWS.
no subject
I'm glad that I never really did rely on the bird site, because it means I don't miss it... but I want to find the sort of thing that it *used* to be able to provide. Bluesky has a lot a lot of news, and a lot of the people I recognized and followed are talking about it, but it winds up being an infinite scroll of everyone posting and talking about all the same worst things, and it just grinds my brain down. It's hard to find a good balance between "firehose of misery" and "comforting but uninformed bubble."