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Productive, but scattered (and ADHD)
Jan. 22nd, 2021 07:46 pmI *did* manage to do most of the stuff I'd had on my to-do list for today, which feels like a minor miracle. I haven't gotten any writing done (though I'm going to at least stare at my word doc for a bit.) However, I did go for a walk, water the plants, clean off my bedside table, and beta-read Chapter 3 of my German friend's book.
It's a little surprising to me that I've been so successful at getting things done for the last few weeks. I mean, it's three weeks into the month (year), so let's not get ahead of ourselves, but this is honestly way better than I usually do with following attempts at goal-setting.
While the extremely helpful therapy I went to a few years back was specifically for PTSD (and, uh... I can't remember if I ever said much about that whole experience? ...Looking back, I *did* mention it in passing back at the end of 2018 after my five and a half year hiatus. Cool.) Anyway, the EMDR therapy I did for about six months was extremely helpful for my PTSD, but the therapist suggested that I very likely could also have ADHD. The more I've looked into things written by people with adult ADHD, the more that seems like holy shit definitely a thing I have.
So while I don't have a for realsies diagnosis, beyond a therapist saying "this isn't what we're looking at right now, and we have to keep to a narrow focus because low-cost county services are what they are, but this is a plausible-to-likely diagnosis for you", I have looked at a lot of advice about how to try and manage it.
The habit-tracker thing has been surprisingly helpful this time around - the reward of filling in boxes with colorful pen to signify that I've done a thing gives me just enough of a semi-external reward that I manage to make myself do something I otherwise would have put off. I certainly don't think that it's a "fix" for ADHD in general, and "just keep a bullet journal! :D" is cliche bad ADHD advice along the lines of "have you tried yoga?" for depression, but hey, it's giving my brain its sweet sweet dopamine rushes.
I *do* want to do a couple more of the Fandom Snowflake challenges, but while I'd be willing to skip any that I don't want to do, I don't want to do them out of order, lol. And I'm pretty sure the next one is the one where you recommend a canon, which I want to do a *good* writeup for. Alas, that means I have to devote actual time to it.
It's a little surprising to me that I've been so successful at getting things done for the last few weeks. I mean, it's three weeks into the month (year), so let's not get ahead of ourselves, but this is honestly way better than I usually do with following attempts at goal-setting.
While the extremely helpful therapy I went to a few years back was specifically for PTSD (and, uh... I can't remember if I ever said much about that whole experience? ...Looking back, I *did* mention it in passing back at the end of 2018 after my five and a half year hiatus. Cool.) Anyway, the EMDR therapy I did for about six months was extremely helpful for my PTSD, but the therapist suggested that I very likely could also have ADHD. The more I've looked into things written by people with adult ADHD, the more that seems like holy shit definitely a thing I have.
So while I don't have a for realsies diagnosis, beyond a therapist saying "this isn't what we're looking at right now, and we have to keep to a narrow focus because low-cost county services are what they are, but this is a plausible-to-likely diagnosis for you", I have looked at a lot of advice about how to try and manage it.
The habit-tracker thing has been surprisingly helpful this time around - the reward of filling in boxes with colorful pen to signify that I've done a thing gives me just enough of a semi-external reward that I manage to make myself do something I otherwise would have put off. I certainly don't think that it's a "fix" for ADHD in general, and "just keep a bullet journal! :D" is cliche bad ADHD advice along the lines of "have you tried yoga?" for depression, but hey, it's giving my brain its sweet sweet dopamine rushes.
I *do* want to do a couple more of the Fandom Snowflake challenges, but while I'd be willing to skip any that I don't want to do, I don't want to do them out of order, lol. And I'm pretty sure the next one is the one where you recommend a canon, which I want to do a *good* writeup for. Alas, that means I have to devote actual time to it.
